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Life

…on the bus

• Hey Diva!!! Is what I be saying to the approaching bus. The bus driver is looking at me like I could die and he wouldn’t care. I love the bus (unironically). Unlocking the secret to riding the bus, as every NYC transplant hopes to accomplish, is an extraordinary feat. When I first moved here, I completely rejected riding the bus because of the time I spent one grueling hour on a shuttle bus coming home from JFK. To actually get to the shuttle bus, I wandered around Jamaica searching for any signage or existence of a bus, my anxiety spiking. Once on, there was barely any standing room, let alone sitting room but eventually I was able to snag a spot next to a girl FaceTiming headphone-less, and due to the September heat, it reeked of sweat and farts. Despite this traumatic canon event of my NY chapter, I eventually gave into the hype. Living in the transportation desert that is North Brooklyn, and wanting to spend the least amount of money possible on Ubers, I see the bus as the city’s Uber. It’s just another vehicle in which I can romanticize my life with the passing of buildings.

…hanging out at home with the roomies

• I’ve really learned to appreciate choosing to stay home over going out. In the past year especially, opting into staying home was more of a last resort rather than a confident choice. Making dinner with the roommates (shoutout Kris, Mik, and Mac) and sitting/drinking/laughing in the living room has become my preferred form of decompression and stress relief. Who knew watching endless hours of music videos and discovering all the pop I had avoided for years could be a cure-all? I feel fulfilled. Something I’ve been lacking for some time. Finally feeling like I’m living in a home, has me feeling awfully sentimental and emotional. I might even start posting genuine earnestness on my socials.

…developing friendships

• In a similar vein, I’ve been really trying to prioritize and develop my friendships. I often get stuck in a rut of introversion and make excuses for not reaching out or saying yes to plans. But I love y’all and to everyone I’ve met and become friends with in NYC plus my homies from FL, you make my life so bright. I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I’m realizing the importance of the close bonds you share with friends and the path that we’re essentially forging to create something that may go on to last for years. No one tells you that making new friends in adulthood is hard as fuck or that sometimes there are friends for a reason or season, but I’m learning to live with that notion.

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Now Playing:

All the Brooklyn baddies know about this national holiday that occurred on Aug 22, 2023 for the first and (probably last) time in history: the Alex G, Alvvays and Tanukichan, BRIC Benefit concert in Prospect Park. I was slightly overwhelmed going alone, especially amongst so many angsty teenagers, millennial hipsters, and chronically online 20-somethings but, it was worth it. Better than seeing my ex tinder match I was originally supposed to go with and her friends…Of course “Mary” and “Sarah” were played but I enjoyed hearing Alex G’s latest album the most. God Save The Animals is now and forever my gospel. I quickly came to two other realizations that night: Hannah Van Loon of Tanukichan is fucking hot, in a “futchy” way (fem butch) and that you simply cannot be sad listening to Alvvays. Hearing “Not My Baby” transported me back to when Tatum and I chose to skip their free concert on campus freshman year. I guess after 6 years it doesn’t really matter, as I got to watch two frat-presenting bros gush about Alvvays’ unmatched talent. Days like these make summer in Brooklyn kind of awesome.

Back in Bushwick, the sticky heat radiating off the streets and rancid smell of trash really puts you in the mood for a crisp beer and easy listening (aka blasting “American Water” by Silver Jews). Let me just say, I receive a fair amount of criticism on what I recognize as “easy listening”. Just because it sounds sad doesn’t mean it is!! And so what if it’s sad…it’s just fucking good. There’s versatility in Berman’s music; where at first listen it doesn’t make you want to hole up in your bed and dwell on every decision you’ve made in life but is rather quite therapeutic. There’s an authenticity to his lyricism. This album wasn’t given a 9.4 on Pitchfork for no reason.

Probably to no one’s surprise, my Wednesday obsession lives on, for a streak of about 1.5 years now. Maybe it’s the tumultuousness of my July-August that lends to craving some reliability and comfort in slide guitar, airy shoegazy drones, and the glorification of rural/suburban life. There something so specific about Wednesday’s garage rock x grunge x twang that truly resonates with me. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it.

However, despite these seemingly cool and fun vibes, I am over summer and wish her GONE! I’ve realized my seasonal depression spikes not in the winter, but the second the temperature rises past 80 degrees. I yearn for the time of year where my clothing isn’t constantly drenched in sweat and every commute feels like a fucking hero’s journey.  As my roomie, Kris, says, “back to my enclosure [my room] for enrichment time [rotting in the AC]” until fall.

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Thank You ❤

As the weather changes, the more excited I become for arguably the best time to be in NYC. Things are going well. I’ve developed a pretty sizable nicotine dependency that I’m now taking action to quit (Kris and I made a pact), I’m living in an accepting and loving space with the best people, I’m taking a trip in a couple days to see Daddy (Tatum), and each day I gain a better understanding of who I am. I’m obviously not a fully realized person; I definitely need to go to therapy and find the strength to leave my first job out of college, work out more and drink less but ultimately I’m grateful for my progress and the life that I’ve built. It’s only up from here and I’m happy to have you all to experience that ride with me. See y’all in a couple months!